


Weird Is What Made Me Fall In Love

by GDB123



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Fluff and Smut, Gay Male Character, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-19
Updated: 2016-02-19
Packaged: 2018-05-21 14:06:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6054418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GDB123/pseuds/GDB123
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard isn't happy with himself, and he doesn't know why. He doesn't like the way he looks in his clothes, and he just feels wrong. He learns about how other men sometimes dress as women, and wonders if that would make him feel better. He tries it out in secret behind his boyfriends back, but what happens when Frank walks in on him trying on fishnets?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Weird Is What Made Me Fall In Love

Gerard's hands shook as he held the simple piece of clothing in his hands, it was light, barely weighed anything, but to Gerard it felt like he was holding 2 tons.

They were thigh high fishnet leggings, that he managed to steal from his friend Lindsey one day.

No, not steal. He was going to put them back where he found them tomorrow, he was simply borrowing them.

Gerard never felt good in his clothes, he never felt attractive, he never felt right.

He became fascinated with women's clothing at a young age, but after he realized he was gay, he figured the fascination was just part of the sexuality.

There was something so elegant about women's clothing, especially things like the fishnets. They had a way of making women look so beautiful, and Gerard wanted to look that beautiful too.

He didn't consider wearing them until he learned about drag queens, once he learned that there were other men dressing up in women's clothing, he had to try it too.

He didn't want to be a girl, no, he was perfectly content with his body parts, but he wouldn't mind looking as beautiful as one.

Frank, his long time boyfriend didn't know about this fascination, in fact he had no idea.

But Gerard wanted it that way, to him he felt weird or even strange for feeling the way he did.

He didn't want to embarrass himself, or scare his boyfriend away.

Frank was gone today, he had left for work not too long ago, so Gerard was finally going to attempt this, even if it was just something as simple as fishnets.

He was excited, but he was also terrified. What if this didn't make him feel better? Or worse, what if it did? What if he fell in love with the way he looked, and took it to the next level, trying something more feminine?

Then his boyfriend would leave him, and he'd be alone again.

At least I'll be alone and comfortable. He thought to himself as he unbuttoned his jeans.

His hands were still shaking as he pulled the fabric up to one of his thighs, the fabric hugging tightly against his skin.

"Wow.." He sighed almost dreamily, admiring his leg at different angles. "Pretty.."

He was more confident with the other leg, pulling the fabric up with less shaky hands.

He smiled down at them, because yes, this felt good, this looked good.

He slowly walked over to their full body mirror, watching his legs as he walked.

The simple item of clothing had managed to transform his legs into something magical, he almost looked like those models in the magazines he read.

Everything else he was wearing was rather masculine, boxers and a black T-shirt.

But that didn't matter to him at the moment, because he was realizing that his fascination with women's clothing meant something, and that they did make him feel better about himself.

He had the biggest smile as he admired himself from different angles, gazing over every part of his legs he could.

He hadn't felt this good in a long time, and it made him wonder how good he would feel in more female clothing.

Like a skirt, or a nice cozy sweater... maybe even something more devious, maybe panties.

Gerard was so overwhelmed with this new feeling that he didn't hear his boyfriend enter their home, and he didn't hear him walking towards their room.

And by the time the door opened, it was too late.

"Hey Gee, I forgot my-"

Gerard practically shrieked, falling to the ground as he attempted to remove the clothing from his legs.

"Don't look!" He cried, tearing the fabric slightly as he tore them from his body, hiding them behind him.

"Gerard?" Frank questioned, his eyes wide with curiosity and concern. "What are you doing?"

"N-Nothing- please just forget you saw anything, just get your stuff and go to work- please-"

Gerard was petrified, he didn't want Frank to think he was weird, he didn't want Frank to tease him.

"What's behind your back?" Frank questioned again, this time walking towards Gerard, who in return scooted backwards, towards their bed.

"N-Nothing-" He stuttered out, shoving the fabric under the bed. "Please-"

"Since when did we start keeping things from each other?" Frank asked softly, the hurt clear in his voice.

"I'm sorry-" Gerard whimpered, tears forming in his eyes. "I- I just don't want you to think I'm weird- but you will- so please, Frankie please just drop it."

He started crying then, soft sobs leaving his lips as he pulled his knees to his chest, hiding behind them.

Frank only sighed, sitting down next to his upset boyfriend and wrapping an arm around him.

"Baby.." He whispered, kissing the side of his head. "Weird is what made me fall in love with you.."

"This is different." He sobbed. "This is bad weird."

"Why don't you show me... so I can be the judge of that."

Gerard shook his head instantly behind his legs, mumbling 'no, no, no.'

"I'm going to look at what you put under the bed, okay?"

Gerard wanted to object, he wanted to scream 'no' and throw the clothing out the window.

But he knew Frank would figure it out eventually, and he had already dug himself into a hole, so he might as well let him.

He didn't agree, but he didn't object either, so Frank reached under the bed, retrieving the item.

"W-why do you have fishnets?" Frank questioned almost skeptically, because he really didn't know how to respond.

"I like them.." Gerard whispered, barely loud enough for Frank to hear. "They make me feel good.."

"Like...wearing them?" Frank gazed down at the fabric. "Like a girl would?"

"I told you it was weird!" Gerard practically shouted, sobbing loudly now.

"It's not a bad weird.." Frank whispered against his head again, trying desperately to calm down his boyfriend. "Gee, look at me."

Gerard didn't want to, he was afraid, and ashamed, and he didn't want to face Frank right now.

But he found himself lifting his head anyways, only revealing his eyes from behind his knees.

The look in Gerard's eyes shattered Frank's heart, he looked so ashamed, so afraid.

Frank was slightly taken back at the realization that his boyfriend liked things like that, and he had to admit he was slightly weirded out at first.

But once he saw the look in Gerard's tear filled eyes, he realized that it didn't matter to him.

It didn't matter if Gerard liked those things, if Gerard liked wearing women's clothing then so what?

If it made that look in his eyes go away, then it didn't matter.

Sure it would take some getting used to, and Frank might not like it at first, but his boyfriend would be happier, and he realized that was what was important.

If Gerard was happy, so was he.

And who knows, maybe Frank would end up liking it more than he originally thought he would.

"Oh, baby." Frank sighed, reaching out to wipe Gerard's tears. "Come here."

Frank leaned forward, and pulled Gerard close to him, placing a soft kiss on his lips.

"Y-you don't think i-it's bad?" Gerard asked timidly, slowly straightening out his legs and moving closer to Frank.

"It's different.." Frank confessed, wrapping his arm around Gerard. "But if it makes you happy, then I don't think anything else matters."

"P-promise?" Gerard stuttered out, resting his head against Frank's chest.

"I promise, baby."

-

Gerard had torn the fishnets when he tried to remove them quickly that morning, but that didn't stop him from wearing them again when Frank returned to work.

He couldn't get enough of the feeling it gave him, and he ended up wearing them all day, strutting around the empty house with all the confidence in the world.

The best part was that Frank knew now, and Frank didn't leave.

He could tell Frank was a little bit weirded out by it at first, and maybe even a little uncomfortable.

But Gerard didn't mind that, because at least Frank was accepting.

And he couldn't blame him, Frank was gay, Frank liked Gerard because he was a male, and he dressed like a male.

Frank didn't like women that way, nor women's clothing- at least he thought- so to find out his boyfriend liked to dress that way could be slightly upsetting.

But again, he was accepting, he loved Gerard deeper than his body and clothing choice, and because of that, he could learn to get through- or learn to love- the fact that Gerard enjoyed women's clothing.

Gerard smiled throughout the entire day, and he was in such a good mood that he ended up cleaning the whole house, and finishing an art project that was due at the end of the week.

He would giggle every time he glanced down at his legs, a warm feeling spreading throughout his body.

He hadn't felt this good in a long time.

He would twirl around, and imagine what it would be like to have a skirt twirling with him.

Then he would giggle some more, and wrap his arms around himself in a hug.

Frank returned late in the afternoon, walking in the door as Gerard was twirling around to some music.

He stopped once he noticed Frank though, and glanced down at the fishnets nervously, one leg bending to cover the other one timidly.

His smile fell, and he had his head down, with his hands clasped together behind his back.

"Y-you um, you look good?" Frank stuttered out, not quite sure what to say. This was the first time he had actually seen Gerard in the fishnets.

"I feel good.." Gerard mumbled, keeping his gaze on the floor and ignoring the fact that Frank's compliment came out more as a question.

Frank snapped out of his shock then, because he hadn't heard Gerard sound so genuine about anything in a long time.

"Yeah?" He spoke softly, walking over to his boyfriend and wrapping his arms around his waist. "You deserve to feel good. Is there anything I can do to make that feeling stronger?"

"D-Do I- um- do I look pretty?" He stuttered out, his cheeks tinting pink. "Do you think I look pretty?"

"Hmm." Frank hummed, taking a step away from Gerard, gazing him up and down before gesturing with his finger for Gerard to spin.

Gerard's blush grew as he twirled slowly, still imaging a skirt around his hips.

Frank smiled as stepped closer to Gerard once again, putting his arms back around his waist.

"You look better than pretty, you look gorgeous."

Gerard felt goosebumps rise onto his skin, and he let out a quiet giggle, his cheeks somehow growing in color.

"You mean that?" He questioned timidly, biting his lower lip. "You're not just saying that to make me feel good?"

"I mean it." Frank smiled, leaning in to kiss Gerard passionately. "You look beautiful."

Frank didn't know if Gerard looked so appealing that way because he liked that sort of thing, or if it was just how happy Gerard seemed, either way, he truly believed the words he said.

"I- I like to pretend I have a skirt too.." Gerard spoke almost excitedly, gazing down at his boxers. "A-and it would twirl with me as I spun around..."

His excitement decreased slightly as he finished his sentence, because he still felt wrong for feeling that way, but after Frank showed no negative response, he smiled again.

"We should get you one... would you like that?"

"Oh, no, no, no, I can't-" Gerard stuttered out, feeling embarrassed. "People would look at me funny if we went out and bought one- people would laugh-"

He really wanted the skirt, he wanted it more than he wanted anything in a long time, but he was so scared.

"We can order it online." Frank smiled, kissing Gerard's cheek. "And who cares if people laugh? They can go fuck themselves."

Gerard laughed then, relaxing into Frank's embrace and hugging him tightly.

"Thank you.." He whispered. "I love you."

"I love you too, and we're going to do whatever it takes to make you happy, okay?"

"Okay." Gerard smiled, nuzzling his face into the crook of Frank's neck.

-

Frank was making dinner, while Gerard was in the shower.

Frank could hear Gerard singing, something he hadn't done in months.

Gerard had fallen into a depression once he became aware of how uncomfortable he was in men's clothing, and not knowing how to fix that only made things worse.

He had stopped singing in the shower, he had stopped painting for fun, and for the most part, he stopped having sex with Frank.

But Gerard was feeling better now, he realized what he wanted, and he didn't have to hide it from the man he loved, he felt perfect right now.

So there he was, singing gleefully at the top of his lungs as he washed his body.

Frank missed his singing, he missed it more than he thought he ever would- considering Gerard used to do it a lot.

He missed all the things Gerard had stopped doing when he fell into that depression.

He missed seeing his boyfriends bright smile, he missed seeing him get excited over a painting he made of him and Frank, and he most definitely missed being intimate with him.

They had very rarely had sex over the course of the last few months, and the times that they did, he could tell Gerard wasn't into it.

He could tell Gerard was doing it just to please him, and as selfish as it was, he went along with it anyways.

It's not that Gerard didn't want to have sex with Frank, it's just that he didn't care to do it, and most nights he didn't have the energy. But he loved his boyfriend, and he knew his boyfriend had needs, and he had never pushed Gerard into doing such things, so on rare occasions he would force himself to build up the energy, and he would try to seem as into it as possible.

Frank couldn't help but wonder if this meant he would want to have sex again, I mean actual sex.

Not boring, 'let's get it over with' sex.

He hoped so, because he fucking missed it.

But he would accept what ever Gerard wanted, because a relationship works better with sacrifice, and if Frank had to sacrifice sex, then so be it.

What's another night jerking off in their office room anyways?

Gerard continued to sing as he made his way into the kitchen, his dark hair clinging to his forehead, with a towel hung loosely over his hips.

Frank had to glance away the second he caught sight of the towel, because as aforementioned, it had been a while since they had satisfying sex, and he got turned on very easily now.

"It's so good hearing you sing again." Frank smiled, turning his attention back to the shove, trying to ignore all the images of him ripping the towel from Gerard's waist, and pinning him against the wall.

Or better- Gerard pinning him against the wall, sucking and nipping at his neck like he used to- grinding softly against him.

Frank shivered, physically shaking his head in an attempt to make the thoughts go away.

"It feels good, too." Gerard giggled, walking over to Frank and resting his chin on Frank's shoulder, his arms wrapping around Frank's waist. "What are you making?"

Frank resisted the urge to groan, because Gerard was pressing up against him, in a towel.

And he smelled so fucking good, and Frank was about to lose his mind.

"P-pasta." Frank stuttered out, cursing internally as he felt his pants tighten.

"Frankie?" Gerard questioned, pulling away. "Frankie, what's wrong? Why do you sound so nervous?"

Gerard had assumed the worst of course, assuming that Frank had changed his mind on the whole women's clothing thing, and just didn't know how to end it with him.

"Nothings wrong, I promise." Frank responded somewhat confidently, keeping his focus on the stove.

"Did you change your mind? D-do you want to break u-up?"

"No!" Frank gasped out, turning to face his boyfriend.

Frank had absolutely no intention of breaking up with Gerard, and the fact that Gerard had that idea in his mind totally shocked him, making him forget about the little problem in his pants as he turned to face him.

Gerard's gaze fell instantly, catching the obvious bulge in Frank's pants.

Frank gasped quietly and dropped the spoon he was holding, his hands quickly coming down to try and hide it.

"Oh.." Gerard started, his gaze going back to Frank's eyes. "I-"

"I don't want to break up, I promise." Frank interrupted, turning back to the stove, ignoring the spoon on the floor and pretending to prepare dinner.

"I'll go get dressed..." Gerard started, turning to walk away. "I'm sorry.."

Gerard walked to their bedroom, feeling guilty as hell, and got dressed.

"Fuck." Frank cursed, leaning against the counter. "You just couldn't fucking control yourself."

Frank could tell Gerard felt guilty, and he didn't want him to.

He didn't want him to feel guilty about not wanting to have sex, which is why he didn't want him to know about his aroused state.

But he just couldn't fucking control it, something as simple as touching- God, he was pathetic.

Dinner was slightly awkward, but Frank tried to make it better, bringing up things such as how nice the house looked since Gerard cleaned it, or how great Gerard's project had come along for the art gallery.

Gerard relaxed after that, because Frank didn't seem upset about the whole 'turning you on then leaving' thing so he felt better.

"Thank you for being so accepting.. you know? This is really difficult for me.. and it means the world that you're still by my side."

"I just want you to be happy." Frank smiled, taking a drink of his water. "If wearing those things makes you smile again, or sing again, or even paint again, then I think you should be proud to do it."

Gerard only smiled shyly to himself in response, taking another bite of his dinner.

"I'm very thankful for you." Gerard spoke a few moments later, staring down at his pasta rather than at Frank. "I know that I haven't been the best boyfriend lately, and I know that I've been neglecting you intimately and emotionally. And just the fact that you're still here, sitting with me right now, means everything to me."

Frank really didn't know what to say, because they hadn't talked about Gerard being distant at all, and he didn't know how to respond to it.

"I didn't know what was wrong..." Gerard whispered. "And I should have talked to you, I should have told you what I was feeling... I'm so sorry Frankie.."

Gerard was tearing up now, the weight of everything seeming to all build in his throat, making it hard to breathe.

"Shh-" Frank rushed, his hand coming out to land on Gerard's. "Gerard, look at me."

Gerard slowly lifted his gaze to meet Frank's, and he had almost the exact look he had earlier in the day, when Frank had caught him trying on the fishnets.

"I love you, okay? I want to be around you no matter what, because you make me happy, Gerard. You make me so fucking happy just sleeping next to me at night. If you don't want to talk that's okay, if you don't want to be intimate, that's okay. But I want you to know I'm here for you, anything you need. If you need someone just to sit with quietly, I'm here. If you need someone to cry with, I'm here. I just-" Frank paused, his voice getting caught in his throat. "I don't want you to be sad anymore."

A tear fell from Gerard's eye as he gazed at his boyfriend, unable to speak at all the emotion he was feeling.

So instead he just squeezed Frank's hand tightly, trying his best to not turn into a sobbing baby.

Frank smiled weakly at him, and then they continued to eat their dinner in silence.

It wasn't an uncomfortable silence though, it was a nice one, one they both understood.

Gerard tried desperately to repeat those words Frank had just said to him, but it took a while for him to calm down.

But when he finally did, he spoke those four words softly, his voice coming out shaky, yet genuine.

"I love you, too."

-

The rest of the night they were cuddled up on the couch -something they hadn't done in a while- and talking.

Gerard finally opened up to him, and confessed everything he had been keeping inside.

He told him about his fascination, and about how he figured it was just because he was gay.

And he told him about when he learned about drag queens, and how he wished he could look like some of them.

"I just feel so ugly." He whispered, his head resting on Frank's chest. "I feel so ugly in my jeans, in my shirts, everything.."

Frank wasn't really talking right now, this was about Gerard opening up, so instead of speaking just yet, he kissed the top of Gerard's head, rubbing his arm soothingly.

"Those girls... in the magazines and on T.V. they look so pretty, I want to look pretty like them."

Frank had wondered if Gerard wanted more than the clothes, he wondered if he wanted to be a girl.

And after that sentence from Gerard, he couldn't help but ask.

"Do you want to be a girl?"

He didn't know how he'd feel if Gerard said yes, because as much as he loved Gerard, he was attracted to him for the most part because of his gender.

Would Gerard want to get a sex change?

Would Gerard change his body completely?

Frank loved Gerard's body, he didn't want him to change.

But if that's what Gerard wanted, he would find a way to make it work, even if he wasn't attracted to women.

He would still be there for him, he just didn't know if he could you know, be with a woman, intimately.

"No." Gerard shook his head quickly. "I like my body, for the most part. I just like how my body looks in female clothing. I- I'm still figuring it out, but I know I don't want to be a girl."

Frank couldn't help but sigh of relief, and Gerard noticed it instantly.

"I know you like my body, I know you like men, so don't worry."

"I'd love you either way, though." Frank commented, his fingers tangling in Gerard's hair. "But yes, I really like your body."

"You proved that earlier." Gerard chuckled quietly. "When I was in a towel."

"Yeah.." Frank mumbled, feeling his cheeks start to burn. "Sorry about that."

"You shouldn't apologize, I should." Gerard sighed, looking up at Frank. "I've been neglecting you those things.."

"It's okay, my love. A kiss here and there is all I need."

Gerard smiled, a genuine smile, and leaned up to kiss Frank softly.

"Mmm." Frank hummed into the kiss, his lips curling slightly. "Perfect."

Gerard's smile widened as he pulled away, his face staying mere inches away from Frank's.

"I love you." He breathed out, instantly connecting their lips once again, this time with more passion.

Gerard hadn't kissed Frank like that in a long time, he found himself getting lost in the sensation, his hands coming out to press against Gerard's sides softly.

Gerard lifted his hand as the kiss deepened, and he slowly ran his fingers through Frank's hair, cradling the back of his head.

The love Frank was feeling slowly transformed into lust, and he had to pull away before it took over.

"T-thank you." Frank stuttered out, licking his bottom lip as Gerard pulled away.

"Can we go to sleep?" Gerard questioned softly. "I'm tired."

"Uhh, yeah. Of course, why don't you go get in bed and I'll clean up our mess, okay?"

"Okay." Gerard smiled, kissing Frank's cheek as he got off the couch. "Thank you."

When Frank made it to the bedroom Gerard was in bed, snuggling closely with the blanket, his eyes closed.

But he opened them when he heard Frank, smiling softly at his boyfriend while he changed into his pajamas.

Frank cuddled close to Gerard as he climbed into bed, and Gerard sighed happily, relaxing back against Frank.

Frank couldn't get one thing off of his mind though, and that was the fact that all the things Gerard hadn't been doing lately, he did today.

The only thing he hadn't done, was have sex with Frank.

And after today, Frank was practically desperate for some form of intimacy. The kiss had left him wanting more, and he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep if he didn't at least propose the idea.

"Hey...Gee?" Frank spoke softly, feeling extremely nervous. "R-remember how you said you had been neglecting me intimately?"

Gerard knew exactly where this was going, and as much as he did feel better, he just wasn't in the mood for sex.

"Yeah.." He replied quietly, hoping Frank wouldn't ask what he thought he would.

"Well, um, do you think- you think maybe we could maybe, have sex tonight?"

Gerard almost felt like crying, because he didn't want to, but he was sick of keeping those things from Frank.

At any time Frank could have left him, he could have left him for someone who would have sex whenever he wanted, but he didn't. He stayed, despite the urge every person feels, and he deserved to have that urge taken care of.

Gerard didn't reply, because he didn't know what to say, but the silence was all the answer Frank needed.

"It's okay.." Frank whispered. "I understand."

"No, no." Gerard stammered out, turning to face Frank. "W-we can. I want to."

"No, you don't." Frank sighed. "You just want to make me happy, but if your happiness is the cost, I don't want it."

"I'm sorry." Gerard whimpered, feeling guilty. "I- I just-"

"You don't have to explain yourself, I promise, it's okay. It'll happen again when it's right."

"Okay..." Gerard spoke quietly. "Are you upset?"

"No." A little bit. "I'll be fine. Go to sleep."

Frank laid there, staring up at the ceiling until Gerard finally fell asleep, his soft snoring filling the room.

Then he slowly got out of bed, careful not to wake Gerard, and made his way to their office room.

He had grown so accustomed to this routine that everything was already there, the computer was already on, and there was already a case of tissues and a bottle of lotion.

Really, Frank should have felt some form of guilt after doing this practically every night, but all he felt was loneliness, and for that short time some half assed pleasure.

He didn't want crappy internet porn, he didn't want his hand, he wanted his boyfriend, he wanted to feel the warmth of his skin, the tickle of his breath, nothing compared to being with Gerard.

But Frank simply couldn't sleep if he didn't do this, so here he was, sitting in the office chair, his boxers around his thighs, watching two guys pretend to enjoy having sex with each other.

He realized something then, as he came across a particularly awful video; he realized that Gerard acted almost identical to the way one of the men was acting.

Not at first of course, no there was a time he was definitely into it, there was time when he enjoyed doing it.

Frank knew it was just his depression, and he tried not to take it personally, but it was so hard, it was so hard being with the person you love, and them not wanting to be intimate with you.

It will get better, he thought, it will get better, Gee will be happy again.

-

Frank decided to take the next day off from work, that way he could spend the whole day with Gerard, and hopefully talk to him and understand the situation better.

He woke up before Gerard did, and he ended up making him breakfast in bed, along with his favorite coffee.

Frank had to go out of his way to go get the coffee, seeing as Gerard was a picky little fuck who was very specific with his coffee.

Which supposedly 'only the girl named Rose at Starbucks could make perfectly.'

But it was definitely worth it, especially once Gerard's eyes lit up as Frank nudged him awake.

Frank had made him pancakes, with a smiley face made out of whip cream on top, Gerard's favorites.

"You went all the way to Starbucks to get my coffee, and you made me pancakes?" Gerard smiled as he took a large drink from the beverage, probably burning his mouth in the process. "Ahh, Rose makes the best coffee."

"How can you be sure it was Rose?" Frank laughed, brushing Gerard's bedhead hair behind his ears.

"I just know." Gerard shrugged, smiling around the cup as took another drink. "And she may or may not put hearts on all her orders."

He turned the cup to show Frank, and sure enough there was a little black heart drawn in sharpie next to the Starbucks logo.

 

"Thank you." Gerard smiled, scooting over on the bed and inviting Frank to sit next to him. "I love you."

"I love you too, baby." Frank grinned, leaning in to place a kiss on Gerard's cheek.

They shared the pancakes, and Gerard even let Frank have a sip or two from his coffee, which was huge considering how stingy he usually was with his coffee.

Gerard tried to apologize for the night before, but Frank wouldn't let him, insisting he had nothing to apologize for.

Gerard had also asked about Frank missing work, but Frank just responded by saying Gerard was more important than a day at work, and that he needed to be here with him.

All these things made Gerard feel so good, from Frank not being upset with the whole sex thing, to him missing work just to be with him in this confusing time, it all made him feel so important, so loved.

After they were done with breakfast Frank cleaned up, while Gerard got dressed for the day.

When Frank returned to their bedroom, Gerard was standing in front of the mirror, fully dressed, with a frown on his face.

He looked so disgusted with himself, he looked like he hated his reflection, which in a way, he did.

"What are you thinking about?" Frank questioned softly as he stood behind his boyfriend, his chin resting on his shoulder, his arms around his waist.

"How awful I look." Gerard confessed quietly, looking away from his reflection.

"Because of your clothes?"

Gerard nodded weakly, still avoiding the mirror with his eyes.

"What do you think would make you feel better?"

Gerard looked back at his reflection then, his hands coming up to graze over his shirt.

"A- A nice, soft, sweater... maybe blue?" His touch fell to his pants. "I hate how baggy these are, they make my legs look fat. I want people to see my legs, I worked hard for them to look good.."

"You did work hard." Frank agreed, kissing the side of Gerard's neck. "Do you just want tighter jeans or-?"

"I don't know." Gerard practically whimpered, his head falling. "I don't know what I want, I just know it's not this."

"Shh.." Frank whispered soothingly, squeezing his boyfriend softly. "We'll figure it out, I promise."

"O-Okay." Gerard replied shakily, his voice full of emotion. "It'll be okay.."

"It'll be okay." Frank agreed, smiling at Gerard through the mirror.

-

When Gerard had mentioned the blue sweater, his friend Jamia popped into his head. Jamia was his childhood friend, and he knew she had an oversized blue sweater, she wore it on lazy days.

He wanted to ask her for it, but he didn't want to tell her why, he didn't want to betray Gerard's trust, because Gerard didn't want anyone to know.

He finally thought of a plan though, his plan was to go over to her house and 'accidentally' spill something on his shirt, and then ask if she had anything he could borrow, and somewhere down the line he'd suggest the blue sweater, seeing as it wasn't something she wore often.

The plan had actually worked, surprisingly, and Frank was only gone about an hour before he returned home, the sweater folded neatly over his arm. He had put his coffee covered shirt back on, just so Gerard could have the sweater to himself.

Gerard was in their room, sitting on the bed with the laptop in his lap.

Frank had told Gerard he had to run to the store, which of course, was a lie.

"Hey..." Gerard greeted, closing the laptop slightly to give his attention to Frank. "What's that?"

He gestured towards the blue sweater, and Frank only smiled in response, holding it out for Gerard to see.

"It's for you.." Frank spoke softly after Gerard hadn't replied. "It's a blue soft sweater.."

Gerard was sort of in shock, seeing as his boyfriend went out of his way, again, and got him a blue sweater.

"Me?" He exclaimed, rushing over to Frank and grabbing the fabric. "It's for me?"

Frank nodded with a bright smile, watching happily as Gerard tugged his shirt over his head, switching it for the soft sweater.

It fit Gerard almost perfectly, the sleeves hugging his wrists, the long fabric coming down over part of his hand.

The rest of the sweater hugged Gerard nicely too, especially around his waist.

Gerard looked extremely adorable, and the light pink shade forming on his cheeks made it even better.

"D-Does it look okay?" Gerard stuttered out, avoiding the full body mirror to his left. "Do I look stupid?"

"You look adorable." Frank smiled, turning Gerard's body towards the mirror, forcing him to see his reflection.

Gerard was amazed, because the sweater did look good, but not only that, it felt good too.

His cheeks tinted red, and he hugged his arms around his body gently.

"Wow.." He breathed out. "I look-"

"Perfect." Frank finished, resting his head against Gerard's shoulder.

Gerard giggled, something he hadn't done in a long time either, and covered his face with his sleeve covered hand.

"Thank you!" He practically shouted. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Gerard felt amazing, and he couldn't resist but to wrap Frank up in his arms, and hug him tightly.

This felt even better than the fishnets, he felt so wonderful, so right.

"I take it you like it?" Frank chuckled as his feet reached the floor after Gerard put him back down.

"I love it." Gerard sighed, nuzzling his face into Frank's neck. "I love you."

"I love you too, baby. What are you up to on your computer?"

"Oh.." Gerard started, glancing over to the abandoned object. "Just looking at clothes.."

"Yeah?" Frank smiled. "Will you show me?"

"S-sure.." Gerard stuttered out, climbing back onto the bed.

Frank followed, and sat behind Gerard with his legs on either side of him, letting him relax back against his chest.

"S-so, there's these skirts.. um like Lindsey's? I- I like them a lot.. and like maybe I could wear knee high socks too? Or those really tight black things that rest on your thighs?"

"Let's buy them then."

"I- I don't know.. can we afford it?"

"Hmm." Frank thought out loud. "Yeah, but we might have to stop ordering take out for a little while."

Gerard giggled and leaned his head back against Frank's shoulder.

"But you love your take out."

"Yeah, but I love you more."

Gerard twisted his body so he could kiss Frank, and Frank smiled into it.

"I love you." Gerard sighed. "I know I've said this a lot, but it really does mean everything to me that you're helping me.. I know it's weird, I know it's different, but you're still here and that means a hell of a lot."

"I didn't ask you to be my boyfriend because of your clothes, I didn't ask you to be my boyfriend because of your looks, I asked you to be my boyfriend because I liked you. Not your clothes, not your face- although that's a huge bonus-, so if this is what makes you happy, so be it."

-

Gerard knew the exact size he needed, because he may or may not have measured himself weeks ago, so he told Frank them after Frank insisted Gerard let him order the clothes.

He knew Gerard would see the price and refuse to let him spend that much money, so he kicked him out of the bedroom, ordering everything Gerard had mentioned himself.

It wasn't that hard, especially since Gerard had a wishlist on that site, and granted the price was rather high, he knew it was worth it.

Gerard was ecstatic the entire day, his smile never left his face.

And much to Frank's excitement, they fooled around later.

And it was Gerard who initiated it, Gerard was the one who pushed him down onto the couch, Gerard was the one to pull his pants down, Gerard did everything.

Frank halfheartedly objected, he didn't want Gerard to do anything he didn't want to, but in the end, Gerard shut him up.

Gerard had even let Frank return the favor, where in their most recent sexual experiences, Gerard would get Frank off and then go to bed.

But not tonight, and Frank hadn't realized how much he had missed touching his boyfriend until now.

They didn't actually have sex, but it was still enough to leave them both satisfied, and they spent the rest of the night cuddling together, watching movies.

-

Gerard was a nervous wreck the days leading up to the arrival of his clothes, he was a mixture of excited and anxious, and really those two did not mix.

It had taken five days, and within those five days Frank and Gerard had gotten closer.

Gerard was still singing in the shower again, and he was becoming more and more intimate with Frank.

They hadn't had sex yet, but they had done practically everything else.

Frank was happier than ever, he awoke to his boyfriends singing again, and he didn't have to get off on crappy internet porn for a whole week.

Frank wasn't home when the packages arrived, so Gerard was left alone being starstruck over the several items of clothing Frank had bought him.

He wanted to wait for Frank to get home to try on the clothes, but he didn't have enough self control for that, so within minutes the clothes were scattered across their bed.

He stared at them for what seemed like hours, he couldn't decide what to wear, or how to pair them with each other.

He had two options for skirts, there was a short black one, similar to Lindsey's only this was solid black rather than plaid.

The other was a knee length, soft, flowy red skirt.

He decided on the short black one, he had always admired Lindsey's clothes, and this was very similar to hers.

He wore the blue sweater Frank had given him, finishing the outfit off with black thigh highs.

He didn't look at himself in the mirror, he just sat on the bed, his hand coming down to feel the fabric of his new clothes.

Frank would be home soon, and he wanted to wait to see it with him.

Frank knew the clothing would be there today, so he left work early, he hadn't been able to focus much anyways. He was much too nervous, he was afraid he wouldn't like the way Gerard looked, he wanted nothing more than to be supportive, but he can't force himself into liking something.

"Gee?" Frank called out, walking slowly to their bedroom.

"Just a minute!" Gerard replied frantically, not having heard Frank enter the house.

Gerard jumped up quickly, his hands smoothing his clothing out gently.

"O-Okay, come in..."

Gerard's eyes closed as he waited for the door to open, and both boys held their breath.

Frank didn't know what to think as his gaze fell onto his boyfriend, he didn't know how to react either.

He just stood there, mouth open slightly as he studied the new look.

Gerard still had his eyes closed, so Frank's silence scared the hell out of him.

"It looks bad." Gerard whimpered, his arms wrapping around his stomach self consciously. "You don't like it."

"No, no!" Frank rushed out, walking over to his boyfriend. "I just- I just need a minute, okay?"

Gerard nodded his head weakly, keeping his eyes closed tight, tears forming behind them.

Gerard felt good, but he wanted Frank to like it, too. He wanted his approval.

After the initial shock, Frank slowly began to form an opinion on it.

Gerard's legs looked amazing, and the skirt seemed to hug his hips perfectly.

Frank actually liked it, more than he cared to admit.

Frank had never really been a fan of women's clothing, but seeing them on Gerard, it changed his perspective drastically.

His mind took a dirty route as he continued to stare at Gerard, he wanted to feel those thigh highs against his waist as Gerard wrapped his legs around him, he wanted to slip his hand up the skirt- he wanted everything.

He was becoming turned on as all those thoughts raced through his mind, there were so many things they could do; so many things that they had done, but would be better with that skirt.

Frank couldn't help but groan as his pants became unbearably tight.

"W-what's wrong?" Gerard stuttered out, his eyes opening slowly.

Frank quickly met Gerard's gaze, trying to make it seem like he hadn't just been staring down Gerard's lower body, thinking about dirty, dirty, things.

"Baby, look in the mirror."

Gerard was unsure, and extremely nervous, but he did it anyways, slowly walking over to their body sized mirror.

Frank followed behind, his hands resting on Gerard's hips.

Gerard couldn't believe his eyes, because this was him, and he looked beautiful.

"Wow..." He breathed out, his hands fiddling with the skirt. "I look so nice.."

"You look really hot, to be honest."

"Yeah?" Gerard smiled, eyeing his reflection. "So you like it?"

Frank could respond with words, but hey, actions speak louder than words, right?

His grip tightened on Gerard's hips, and he pulled Gerard back against him, his hard on pressing against Gerard's ass.

"Oh-" Gerard gasped, his cheeks turning pink. "S-so yes?"

"Yes.." Frank whispered, making eye contact with Gerard through the mirror as he began to kiss the side of his neck.

"Oh, Frank." Gerard moaned softly, his head falling back slightly.

Gerard was beginning to grow aroused too, and for once in a long, long time, he wanted to have sex.

"What's under the skirt, baby?" Frank whispered against Gerard's ear, nibbling the lobe as he awaited the answer.

"N-nothing-" Gerard stuttered out, his cheeks flushed with arousal.

"Fuck." Frank shivered, one of his hands relocating to the back of Gerard's thigh. "Can I?"

"Please-" Gerard choked out, leaning forward, resting his weight against his hand on the wall next to the mirror.

Frank instantly began trailing his hand up Gerard's thigh, groaning softly as he pulled the skirt up, revealing more of Gerard's bare skin.

Gerard looked amazing, breathtaking even, and Frank wanted to appreciate every part of him with his hands.

"You look so beautiful.." He whispered, gripping Gerard's cheek softly.

Gerard let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding, and quickly turned around, catching Frank's lips in a desperate kiss.

It was mere seconds before they were pressed up against the wall, Frank gripping Gerard's ass through the skirt, sucking harshly against his neck.

"Oh, god." Gerard groaned, squirming under his boyfriends touch, shamelessly grinding his hips against Frank's. "I- I want you, please, Frank I need you-"

Gerard's hands instantly went to Frank's belt, fumbling with it quickly before it finally came undone.

Frank groaned against Gerard's neck as Gerard slipped his hand inside the fabric, palming him roughly.

"Need you." Gerard repeated, applying more pressure, silently begging Frank to react more.

"You sure baby?" Frank questioned softly, lifting his head to meet Gerard's gaze.

Gerard let out a whine in response, and grabbed one of Frank's hands, placing it flat against his crotch.

Gerard's head fell back at the much needed friction, and he moaned softly as his eyes fluttered shut.

Frank took a moment just to stare at him, because it had been a long, long time since Gerard had been so desperate for him, and he wanted to enjoy it as long as he could.

Frank wasn't sure what Gerard meant though, because the past week Gerard had denied actual sex, and Frank wanted to be clear with what Gerard wanted.

"What do you need from me?" Frank questioned as he gripped Gerard through his skirt, basking in the whine that left his lips.

"Everything." Gerard gasped out, his eyes opening to meet his boyfriends lustful gaze. "Please."

"Come on." Frank groaned, grabbing Gerard's hips as he kissed him hurriedly, pulling them towards their bed.

He turned their bodies once they reached the bed, and gently pushed Gerard against it, his own body covering him instantly.

Frank's hand slid up Gerard's shirt, his nails gently digging into Gerard's skin as he continued to kiss him.

"You look so good in blue."

Gerard couldn't form a coherent response, so he just moaned, his fingers tangling in Frank's hair as they rocked their lower halves against each other.

"And your legs.." Frank started, moving his body down the bed, resting in between Gerard's legs. "They look so fucking good in this."

He leaned down to kiss at Gerard's thighs, his teeth coming out to nip at the thigh highs.

"How do you make these look so fucking good?" He groaned, slipping a hand between his legs.

"I love you." Gerard whimpered as Frank's kisses trailed higher, pulling up Gerard's skirt with his nose. "Thank you so much-"

"Shh.." Frank cooed as he lifted Gerard's skirt with his hands. "Let me make you feel good, you can thank me later.."

"Okay." Gerard nodded quickly, relaxing against the bed as Frank tossed his skirt up over his stomach.

Frank almost growled at the sight, ready to finally get what he had been craving for months. He didn't want to move from this position though, he wanted to touch Gerard, he wanted to suck Gerard.

"Baby, can you get me the lube out of the drawer?"

Gerard complied instantly, reaching over into the bed side table, and grabbing their previously neglected bottle of lube.

Frank began stroking Gerard as he grabbed the bottle, popping the cap before pulling his hand back and covering two of his fingers in lube.

He was going to do whatever Gerard let him, and he was starting out with sucking him off while he prepped him.

"Ugh-" Gerard whined all high pitched and needy as Frank wrapped his lips around him.

Frank pressed his fingers up against Gerard as he slowly began bobbing his head up and down, sliding them in slowly after Gerard whined again.

It ached for Gerard, but he enjoyed it, he felt fantastic, nothing could spoil his mood.

"Shit-" Gerard gasped, his hips bucking forward as Frank thrust against his prostate. "Right there- please, right there-"

Frank moaned around him, and thrust his fingers in with more force, causing Gerard to cry out loudly and tangle his fingers in Frank's hair.

"Fuck-" He moaned, pushing Frank's head down, forcing himself into the back of Frank's throat. "Fuck, fuck, fuck-"

Frank simply relaxed his throat around him, letting Gerard use him however he wanted as he scissored his fingers.

Gerard hadn't felt this good in so long, he wasn't just getting physical pleasure out of this, but emotional pleasure as well.

He looked, and he felt good.

"O-okay-" Gerard breathed out. "I'm good, I'm ready-"

Gerard released his grip in Frank's hair, and Frank pulled off, a line of saliva dribbling down his chin as he gazed up at his boyfriend, his fingers still moving slowly.

"Please." Gerard pleaded as Frank added a third finger, making sure his boyfriend was stretched enough. "I need you, not your fingers, just- just- fuck me, please Frankie, fuck me hard."

Frank's motions froze, his wide eyes staring back at Gerard.

Frank hadn't heard Gerard sound so wrecked in a long, long time, and he forgot how hot it was.

"Yeah-" Frank spoke absentmindedly, undoing his pants fully and pulling them down to his thighs. "Fuck yeah-"

Gerard sat up as Frank began to lube himself up, and quickly unbuttoned his shirt, practically tearing it open after a few calm attempts.

Frank groaned as Gerard's hands explored over his stomach, Gerard's fingernails digging in softly against the swallows on his hips.

"Lay back." Frank ordered, pushing Gerard back against the bed softly. "Tell me if it hurts."

Gerard nodded quickly and lifted up his hips, giving Frank the perfect angle to line himself up.

Frank pushed in at a very slow pace, every muscle in his body tensing as he fought to go slow.

"More, more, more-" Gerard chanted out, his hands gripping Frank's shoulders. "I can take it."

Frank sped up his movement, but only slightly, determined to go slow until Gerard fully adjusted.

"Fuck, Gee." Frank moaned out as he finally pushed the rest of the way in. "You feel so fucking good."

Gerard leaned up, using his elbows, and pulled Frank in for a kiss.

Frank kissed back eagerly, his fingernails digging into Gerard's hips as he held him up.

"You can move." Gerard breathed out as they pulled away. "Please move."

Frank nodded his head and slowly pulled out, pushing back in with just a little more force than last time.

"Yeah-" Frank groaned as he started thrusting slowly. "Fuckin' missed this-"

"More-" Gerard pleaded, wrapping his legs around Frank's waist. "Harder-"

The logical side of Frank's brain was now overtaken with lust, so he didn't have the ability to over think the action, and soon he was thrusting into Gerard as hard as he could.

"Yes-" Gerard moaned, his head back into the pillow. "Yes, yes, yes-"

"Fucking love you." Frank groaned out, leaning forward and attacking Gerard's neck with his lips, sucking harshly against the bruise he made moments before.

Gerard moaned in response, tangling his fingers in Frank's hair and pulling roughly.

They both began to sweat as time progressed, the only sounds filling the room being skin hitting skin, and the quiet moans from Gerard, and quiet grunts from Frank.

For a while the only friction Gerard was getting was whenever Frank's stomach rubbed up against him, and for a while that was enough, but as he grew closer he needed more.

He slipped a hand between them, his fingers curling around himself as he pumped quickly.

"F-Frank-" Gerard moaned, rocking his hips forward. "I-I'm gonna ruin my skirt-"

"We'll get you another one." Frank growled, biting down against Gerard's neck. "You're keeping it on, I love it."

"O-okay-" Gerard found himself agreeing instantly, relaxing without the worry of losing one of his only skirts. "I'm not gonna last long-"

"Me either baby, fuck you feel good."

Frank would have been embarrassed at how close he was already, but in his defense Gerard looked really hot in a skirt, and he hadn't had proper sex in over a month.

Gerard wasn't phased at how close he was at all, he felt good, he looked good, he didn't fucking care how soon he came.

If he continued to feel good in these clothes this could become a regular thing, which he really hoped would happen.

Frank's pants were still around his thighs, and the constriction that caused him made his legs cramp up at their fast movements, so he quickly raised himself to his knees, pulling Gerard with him as he continued to thrust in.

Frank held Gerard's hips firmly in place as his thrusts some how sped up, his head falling back as the pleasure rocked his body.

"So fucking close, baby." Frank groaned out, his mouth hung open and eyes squeezed shut.

Gerard increased his motions with his hand, the sight of Frank sending him closer and closer to the edge.

"F-Frank, I'm gonna come-" Gerard moaned out, his eyes squeezing shut.

Frank quickly turned his focus to Gerard, and swatted his hand away, replacing it with his own.

The added sensation of Frank's hand around him, along with the constant pressure against his prostate, was enough to send Gerard over the edge.

"F-Frank-" Gerard cried out, his head thrown back, his whole body tensing before relaxing completely, spilling all over Frank's hand and his skirt- somehow missing the sweater.

The sound of Gerard reaching his climax sent Frank over the edge, and he groaned loudly as he came inside of him, his body slumping over Gerard's.

It took Frank a moment, but after a second he was able to compose himself, and slowly pull out of Gerard.

Gerard whimpered as he did, because that was Gerard's least favorite part about sex. He hated the feeling of Frank leaving, he hated the empty feeling, he hated everything about it.

Frank knew this of course, and instantly captured Gerard's lips in a kiss, distracting him from the unpleasant feeling.

"Fuck." Frank finally sighed, collapsing next to Gerard.

He wrapped his arm around his boyfriend protectively, and rested his head against Gerard's chest.

Their heavy panting was loud in the room, so loud Frank almost missed the soft sniffling noise Gerard made.

"Gee?" He questioned worriedly, gazing up at his boyfriend just in time to see the first tear fall. "Baby, what's wrong?"

He sat up instantly, looking down at Gerard and wiping his tears soothingly.

"Nothing." Gerard smiled, sniffling again. "I-it's happy tears- I'm so fucking happy."

Gerard sat up too, and grabbed Frank's hand in his, rubbing his thumb over Frank's knuckles as tears continued to fall.

"I was so fucking scared." He admitted. "I thought you'd hate it, I thought you'd hate me, I thought you'd leave.." He paused sniffling. "But you didn't, and I'm just so fucking happy that you didn't."

"Oh, baby." Frank sighed, wrapping his arm around Gerard and pulling him against his chest. "I wouldn't leave you for the world."

"I know." Gerard smiled, wrapping his arms around Frank's body. "I realize that now. Thank you Frank, I love you so much."

"I love you more." Frank smiled, pulling away from Gerard so they could properly remove their clothing.

Gerard kept the blue sweater on though, because it was soft and comfortable, and really Frank couldn't argue with that, especially with how adorable Gerard looked in it.

"She's not getting it back." Gerard mumbled as they crawled under the covers, snuggling his face into the crook of Frank's neck.

"Hmm?" Frank questioned, slumber already trying to take him.

"The sweater. She's not getting it back."

"Oh." Frank laughed. "I'll pretend I never even borrowed it." Frank smiled, closing his eyes. "Wait, how do you know I borrowed it?"

"I just know." Gerard shrugged. "I also know you jerk off to internet porn every night."

"Oh." Frank's cheeks flushed. "What else do you know that I don't?"

Gerard ignored him, pretending to be asleep, leaving his boyfriend baffled and exhausted.

He knew about the sweater because Jamia had called their house asking for it, and he knew about the internet porn because Frank was very, very, loud when he came.

But that's Gerard's little secret.


End file.
